What inspired you to start Inner Eros, and how has the vision evolved?
In 2021, I went back to school to become a Certified Sexologist & was compelled to create something that felt part community dialogue and safe space, and part private practice. Coming out of the pandemic, I could see that people were deeply desiring to connect with others but were unsure exactly how to in this new world. I started my private practice in 2023, and it’s been the most incredible, rewarding learning curve of my life. Yet, the vision remains the same – I want people to be able to interact with Inner Eros in ways that fit where they’re at: they can follow along and hopefully learn something about themselves or feel validated through the content I share. They can attend a workshop to be held in community, and experience how powerful it can be to explore these topics while seeing our experiences and feelings mirrored in others. Or through my coaching sessions with individuals and couples where we dig deeper into our relationships to ourselves and others. I also release a few batches of my beloved Love Potion each year – an herbal oxymel brimming with aphrodisiacs, and flower wisdoms if they’re looking to upgrade their ritual practice.
What is your approach to guiding clients as they rewrite their relationship with intimacy, pleasure, and sexuality?
My approach is collaborative and non-hierarchical, meaning that we are working together to identify what feels misaligned and how to get you to where you want to go. There’s a lot of accountability in this dynamic. I’ve found this is the most impactful way to do this, as it allows the individual to learn self-guidance and really dig into the core of what’s right for them outside of learned or inherited messaging about what it means or looks like to be an erotic, or sexual being, in this world. What it looks like to be in a fulfilling relationship with ourselves and others. What it can feel like to be in our bodies if they’re a safe and celebratory space for us. Because sometimes we’ve never seen what feels right for us modeled to us, so it’s hard to know what’s possible.I have so much reverence for my clients, and the people who choose to do this work – I’m constantly inspired by and learning from them as well!I know that sometimes the barrier to enter can feel really high to start this work. We’re often digging into topics that have complicated origins for us, or that feel tender, but at the root of my practice is a lot of joy. While not always easy, it should feel validating, expanding and joyful. I also want people to know that there’s no way you won’t get something out of it. Pouring your energy and intention into yourself, or your relationship in this way will give you tools you can apply to all other corners of your life.
What advice do you have for someone beginning their journey toward fostering intimacy?
I want them to know that on the other side of their hesitancy, fears, or feelings of isolation or shame is the most connective, rewarding, life altering relationship to themselves and others.
How does your practice as a sex coach inform your understanding of beauty?
Oh, I love this question! I think when you’ve seen as many corners of what sex or intimacy can look like, as I have, you understand that the rigidity of how we understand external beauty falls away in moments of uninhibited presence or pleasure. It becomes deeply human, malleable, and abstract. I think I look at beauty in this way. I don’t see beauty as this primed and perfected version of, but in the stolen moments in between – when a friend scrunches their nose when they laugh, or the light hits the little golden hairs in my thigh. I’m so much more interested in finding beauty than beauty finding me.
Are there beauty rituals—either inherited or self-created—that ground you?
I’m big on physical touch (shocker of absolutely no one), and one of the ways I realized I could give that to myself was through self-massage. I follow the Ayurvedic practice of Abhyanga, after I bathe or shower I massage my body with oil. It supports lymphatic drainage, circulation, and makes a visible impact on the overall health of my skin. I also find it to be very meditative and is great for embodiment wor k, and finding body neutrality. I’m also a huge fan of ear massage for regulating our nervous system as the ear canal is a direct line to the vagus nerve.
What is one small, meaningful practice you return to, regardless of how busy life feels?
Journaling. I’ve always been an avid diary keeper but around a decade ago I adopted the practice of doing morning pages and it completely changed my relationship to myself, how I make decisions and make sense of the world around me. I used to be someone who did a lot of crowd sourcing for advice or guidance – in a lot of ways I didn’t trust myself to choose for myself. Journaling allowed me to become self-guided in a way where I’m able to offer myself a lot of permission. It was the space where I worked through things I didn’t understand, feelings of shame, and identified my needs and wants. From there I found that I became more confident in my voice, I began advocating for myself and my needs in all kinds of dynamics. I built a lot of self trust. Now it’s less of a daily practice, but it’s always something I come back to. Journaling paired with visualization can be a really powerful tool for allowing ourselves to imagine things we want, versions of ourselves, and re-scripting our internal narratives around why we can vs. can't have that thing. It’s absolutely changed my life, and in many ways led me to the work I’m doing now.
How do you see skincare or food connecting to building greater intimacy with ourselves?
I talk a lot in my work about the importance of inviting pleasure into our everyday lives – both sexual and non-sexual – as a way of building intimacy with ourselves. For me rituals of self-care and nourishment are pleasure portals. Both allow me to slow down and be present with myself, to tap into what my body is asking for in that moment. To take time to ask myself, what would bring me joy, rest or peace right now? I see it as a form of showing up for ourselves, with consistency and curiosity – which as it happens is also the two elements that build intimacy with another, but that we’re not often taught how to show to ourselves.
Can you share a recent experience in that domain that felt especially transformative?
I love cooking when we travel, so I’m always looking for rentals that have a fully stocked kitchen. Something about finding the local farmers market, using fresh ingredients and taking my time to slow down and cook with loved ones is one of my favorite things to do. Recently, on a long weekend away, after spending the day at the beach, I cooked a spaghetti pomodoro for my fiance, as the sun was setting over the ocean. Music playing, a glass of orange wine, skin still warm and sunkissed from a day in the sun. If you know me, you know this is my absolute dream day. There’s a lot of heaviness and unease in the world right now. A lot feels hopeless or out of our control. And in this moment, I was reminded how good it can feel to be alive.
What is your current skincare routine, and what is the one step you never skip?
My skincare routine gets more and more simplified the more products I try. Right now it's a gentle cleanser, infrared mask, then hyaluronic acid, a nice juicy moisturizer, and a few days a week I’ll add in an active one. One step I never skip is my SPF.
What is one diet myth you wish more people would let go of?
The villainization of carbs! Carbohydrates are actually incredibly important for the female body. They support the energy availability and hormonal balance needed for ovulation and healthy luteal function. Not to mention, during the luteal phase, your body naturally craves carbs to help restore serotonin levels — supporting mood, calm, and emotional steadiness.
MICHAELA'S EDIT
The Coconut Butter quickly became integrated into my daily coffee ritual. I love the add it into my milk while it's frothing to add in a little bit of good fat, and a super rich and supple flavor. It’s such a treat!
Blue is such a beautiful step in my skincare ritual. My skin runs pretty dry and this gently cleanses without stripping my skin, leaving it nice and nourished! I also love the scent.
I’ve never been a toner girl, but Serotoner was a game changer. It’s an immersive experience. A much needed inhale and exhale. A slowing down and splash of joy.
